These pictures mean more than words can truly say. As I sit here going back through pictures of our recent trip to Uganda (and praying over our team to Haiti in December) I’m reminded of the stories that changed me forever and this was one of them. As you can tell in the picture, tears of JOY filled our faces. In a moment, God changed everything for this man and his beautiful family. The prayers of a beautiful wife had been answered. For weeks, she never left his side but every night bowed to her knees in prayer over her worn-down bible praying for healing.
She knew that it wasn’t just about the “healing” but about God receiving the ultimate glory and in the depth of her heart, that was her prayer. She knew there was nothing she could “do” but give her time, sit at the feet of Jesus, and form an intimacy with the Father that had once eluded her. In a moment, all God was looking for was a “mustard seed” of FAITH and everything changed. Life was different for this sweet family. Jesus had surely visited them and heard the cry of their heart. The moment was powerful and something I will never forget.
If any of you know me at all, you know how much I love to write in my journal. I LOVE to write out my prayers each morning over a cup of coffee and listen as the Lord speaks through the pages. But before my trip to Uganda, writing had become difficult and time seemed to escape me. I had this “plan” of everything I wanted to do and all I wanted to read so I could be fully equipped to lead my team to Africa. I was relying upon the “doing” rather that the “being.” I wanted to fill a journal full of prayers so they could cover us while on our trip and fast a couple of times before we left, but life got too busy and the pages in my journal remained empty and unfulfilled. I began to define myself by my lack of preparation. I would think, “I haven’t prayed enough or fasted enough. I feel so unworthy to even see the things my heart is so desperately believing for.” Have you ever found yourself in this place? On this trip, I wanted to see the impossible done but I struggled with God even answering my prayers because I wasn’t prepared enough in my prayer and fasting life. And then the Lord spoke to me and I believe this can minister to some of you who define yourself by the “doing” for Jesus rather than the “being” present and vulnerable at His feet in surrender.
Your lack of preparation does not determine your blessing. The books you didn’t read and the prayers you didn’t pray do not disqualify you from the miracles God wants to perform within you.
When I wrote this in my journal right before we left on our trip, I knew the Lord was saying, “You are enough.” Wow. I AM ENOUGH. I am worthy even when I don’t feel worthy. In the busyness of my life, He sees me. I am enough when I feel I haven’t done my part. I am enough even when I give up on my dreams because comparison says “Your story isn’t worthy.” My sweet friends, God looks beyond your imperfections and sees your heart. The depth of His love for you is SO great that it will quiet your anxious heart and wipe away all your tears. I am in the midst of this battle and while it’s a fight, it’s a journey so sweet. Press in and yield to the journey. Let go of the rush of superficial things, the fear of missing out, worrying about what others think, and just let yourself BE. If that means saying “no” to certain things in your life, then do it with a confidence that Jesus will meet you there. Don’t live in the broken place of the “doing” for it is exhausting and it will wear you down BUT find yourself in a place of undistracted LOVE with Jesus. That’s what our lives are meant to live for. A LOVE for Jesus that surrenders everything, gives all we have, and isn’t determined by our schedules that day. Our busyness can’t touch a love that is unbroken and undistracted.
So on this rainy day, REST in these sweet truths. I’m praying for you.
“You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.” – Psalm 51:16-17