“But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
Singleness. If there is one question I am constantly asked it is, “How do you get through your time of singleness remaining joyful?” Part of me loves to answer this question and share how fully satisfied you can be during your single years but then there is a part of me that gets emotional because I know that there are so many girls who are missing out on so much because they are just “waiting” for the Lord to bring their night in shinning armor. They face emotion after emotion trying to find their fulfillment in a man. I see it everyday. I see girls who have lost themselves in the “noise” of this world. I see girls who have lost all of their value and when they look themselves in the mirror, they see worthlessness. Eating disorders attack young girls everyday because they think they aren’t “skinny” enough or “pretty” enough by the world’s standards. Years ago I walked this road and I “get” it. I can relate. It makes me so angry to watch how the devil knows exactly where to attack the most vulnerable part of our hearts. I see 15 year olds having babies at my hospital that are so lost and caught up in their emotions. My heart screams, “if you only knew the VALUE you have in CHRIST! You are perfectly complete in him and no one, absolutely NO ONE can steal that away from you. But we let our emotions and desires take over and control us to where we build our lives around them. What does it mean to completely yield your emotions, dreams, and desires to the Lord? What if we looked at singleness as a preparation for marriage??
“For since the world began, no ear has heard and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for Him.” Isaiah 64:4
“Singleness” is one word that can bring up a whole lot of emotions and cause loneliness to set in. It is a battle that many of us face but definitely a time that God takes us through. God never meant for this to be a season we dread, or a season where our “emotions” control us that we fail to miss the purpose God has for us in our singleness. Believe me, I will be the first to say, singleness is hard, but it comes down to the fact that we make it difficult. We let our surroundings convince us into thinking something is wrong with us because we still remain single. We dread the question, “Are you dating anyone?” because we worry what others will think when we give the answer. When we are with other people “we often lose sight of the presence of Jesus. Fear of displeasing people puts you in bondage to them, and they become your primary focus.” The bible says “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.” -Proverbs 29:25. We tend to let our physical desires to be loved and pursued take preeminence over our relationship with Christ. We fail to realize that Jesus Christ is the ultimate pursuer of our hearts and desires to script our beautiful love story; if only we would let Him.
“You continue to get your heart broken because you are holding the pen of your life and trying to write your own story. I am the Author of True love. I am the Creator of romance. I know your heart’s every desire. I want to script a beautiful tale just for you, but first you must give the pen to Me, You must let me become the center of your existence. You must let Me have total control of your love life, and every other area of your life as well (When God Writes Your Love Story, Leslie Ludy).”
If there is one thing I ABSOLUTELY love is my time with Jesus! I love to wake up in the morning, pour me a cup of coffee, and sit on the couch with my bible and journal. God has taught me so much through my quiet time with him. I CRAVE my dates with Jesus. I look at my life and realize that over the past few years I have grown so much. I can honestly say that today, I am fully satisfied in Christ. I know that only HE can fulfill my deepest longing and at the end of the day, He is enough. Do I have lonely days? Yes. Do I still struggle with singleness? Absolutely! Do I want to fall in love and be a mommy? You better believe it. But first, Christ must be the center of my existence and everything I shape my life after.
I just finished this book, “When God Writes Your Love Story” by Eric and Leslie Ludy. It is a beautiful book on handing the pen of your life over to God and letting Him script the most beautiful love story. God began to speak to my heart through the pages of this book and I want to share a little bit of what He showed me.
This quote jumped out at me…
“Loneliness is a required course for Leadership.” After reading this line over and over again I began to see singleness in a different light. “If God is preparing you to make an impact on this world, chances are He will take you through a season of solitude. In this season you will learn that you can’t lean upon anyone but Him for your confidence and when you gain strength to stand alone, even when no one else stands with you.” This time is training ground; He is raising you up to impact the world around you. He has to get your attention and it is in the lonely, quiet places where we finally begin to listen. Embrace your season of singleness, stand firm in your convictions, and use the time to find comfort in the arms of your King. When the lonely hours come, God is using the time to give you a strong backbone and prepare you to step apart from the crowd so that you don’t crumble and compromise under pressure. He is teaching you to turn to him instead of trying to fill the void with other things. The more time you give Him, the more you seek Him, you will begin to see that He desires more than anything to meet your EVERY need!
“You will discover that He may be using loneliness to prepare and equip you to be a leader, to stand firm when everyone else’s courage is failing, and to live for the applause of your King alone.”
There is nothing more fulfilling than living for Jesus. He cares so deeply about you and has your BEST interest in mind. He can do “exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us..”He is the pursuer of your heart and desires to be your all in all. We MUST find our ultimate fulfillment in Him first before He brings along a godly man. We have to know that He is enough.
“God will honor your decision to hold out for a godly man; He paid for the treasure of your heart with HIS OWN BLOOD.” Now that is LOVE…
“Since He did not spare even His own son, but gave Him up for us all, won’t He also give us everything else?” Romans 8:32