You ARE a God who heals. In your presence there is immense healing power. If you live close to me my healing power will cover you. But you have not because you ask not. My daughter, the first step to experiencing my healing is living so close to me. Regardless if your healing is instantaneous or a process, thank me.
August. What a month. If I could describe the month of August in two words it would be: Life-Interrupted. I began August with strength, excitement, and expectation all to end with frustration, pain, and helplessness. It was one morning I felt the Lord impress upon my heart, “sit a little longer my child. Don’t rush my presence. Abide in me.” But I rushed. Out the door and hit my running trail like I do every morning. I had my earphones in and was just having my “me” time when I tripped and my ankle fell off the curb and popped tearing ligaments. The swelling came quickly and the pain rushed through my leg. I knew it wasn’t good.
The place I was forced into this past month I I didn’t like. It messed up my routine. My schedule. And things I was planning on doing for my life in the month of August. Anxiety left me in this place of trying to understand God’s plan in it all. The runner/athlete in me fought depression as the pain robbed me of my joy. But as I looked to Jesus I heard “rest and surrender.” Even when I know the Lord is impressing this upon my heart I don’t do it well. I find myself trying again and again fighting myself to rest and surrender every moment to Jesus. How many times do we hear these words in our spirit but we continue running through life because of the schedule we must keep or the things we want to accomplish? I’m so guilty of rushing through a quiet time, having just this little slither of time where I can “fit” Jesus in. But this month has been different. The injury to my ankle left me confined to my couch for the past month unable to escape time. Every night I prayed that God would heal my ankle and remove the swelling and horrible bruises the were a reminder of the severity of my sprain. But each morning when the swelling and pain remained I began to realize my “healing” went much deeper. It wasn’t about the “physical” healing of my ankle but about the depth of my heart Jesus was trying to get to. The places I don’t uncover very often. The places we don’t expose unless we are faced with a life-altering event. It’s those places that are in need of the greatest healing. The places God wants to re-shape and mold for His glory. The places that matter MOST. While in the midst of it all, Jesus calls us to Himself. At the feet of Jesus is the ONLY place we will find peace. When all seems out of control, know that Jesus can and will meet you where you are. It may not look like the way you are praying for Him to do it BUT if you look a little deeper and find what He is trying to do in and through you, peace will come and joy will return.
In moments of life like this, I am reminded of Paul and the physical aliment that marked his life.
“…so to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time He said, ‘My grace is all you need, my power works best in weakness.'”
Paul’s sickness was a reminder that in his self-sufficiency he needs Jesus MOST. It was debilitating and kept him from working some of the time. It was a constant reminder that he needed Jesus and it was an opportunity for God to show His strength in Paul’s weakness. When he prayed and he “felt” like God didn’t hear him, what he didn’t realize is that he was receiving something so much greater; a stronger character, humility, and the ability to empathize with others. And most of all the constant reminder to keep his eyes on Jesus.
Honestly, this past month of my life has been tough. It has pushed me into this place of isolation and rest. It’s pushed me into this place of TIME, something foreign to me. The go-getter people person in me was ready to get back up and out there immediately. It was a place of “forced rest.” A place where my quiet time wasn’t rushed, a place where I found surrender, the place where Jesus offers so much more than I could ever imagine. I am slowly learning this process of total and complete surrender. A place of knowing that ONLY He is a God that can satisfy and a God who longs just for a moment with me.
Don’t discount your “life-interrupted” moments, for in them you will find great healing for the deepest places in your heart if you will just surrender and know that in the “mess” God is STILL good and He is STILL in control.
So many of my August goals I did not reach. And now that it is halfway into September I am just now finding myself getting back on my feet and looking at them again with all that Jesus taught me this past month. So this month I am going to continue to learn this thing called “rest and surrender.”