Well it’s almost Thanksgiving and one of the things I am most thankful for this November is my job. Being a Neonatal Intensive Care Nurse has changed my life in so many ways and with World Prematurity Day being in November, I want to remember those tiny little miracles I get to work with every single day. Through this post I want to share a little piece of my life with you as a Neonatal Nurse.
One of the greatest joys in life is living your life for others and investing in those around you. When I was in nursing school I wasn’t really sure what type of specialty I wanted to go into; all I knew is that I wanted to do something with babies/kids. As I sit here on this day before Thanksgiving tears come to my eyes as I reflect on how grateful I am for God placing me in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. I can’t imagine doing anything else. I have found what my heart and soul beats for…God’s tiniest little patients. Each day, I count tiny little toes and hold tiny little hands. Their eyes look back at me as if they are telling me their story. They still manage to smile when they are at their weakest and at the moment of fighting for their very life. They laugh at you when you do silly things and show you just how BIG their heart is.
Each of my babies have taught me so much about life; about an unconditional love that never gives up. They make me laugh and they make me cry. They bring me an unexplainable joy. Whether I am holding them in my hand or in my arms, I cherish every moment I have with them and thank God that He has entrusted me to be their nurse. When I leave work, I can’t get their faces out of my mind. I think about them constant and pray for the strength of their bodies daily. I dream of the constant sound of the alarms in my unit always keeping me on my toes. One minute I’m giving away lots of love and the next I’m running to a bedside trying to save a life. These tiny little babies talk to you in such a way to tell you that something isn’t right, that their tummy hurts and their blood just isn’t doing the job. In a moment, everything changes and your chasing the doctors to ask them to come see your baby. And then right before you, your baby is fighting for his/her life. Your starting IVs, giving blood, pushing meds, getting X-rays, stopping feeds, and placing your once room air baby back on a ventilator. These are the days that bring me to my knees; the days that take everything to keep the tears from falling; the days that sometimes I have to say goodbye to those babies I love so much; the days I go home and question “why.” But in the midst of it all, I know God has me right there in those situations for a reason and a purpose. I pray for healing and cry with the family. Sometimes that can be the greatest gift of healing. I hold the hands of moms and dads as they faithfully stand by the bedside and watch their little one give it everything they’ve got. I wipe their tears while wiping mine. And then in the midst of the tears, God reminds me every tear tells a story. Every tear is not lost but a part of God’s perfect plan. And in the midst of tragedy, God’s sovereignty still stands.
It is such an honor to work with the most amazing team of Doctors and Nurses that work tirelessly every single day for our babies. For them, I’m so grateful.
Well, that is a day in my life as a Neonatal Nurse…