“Remember your promise to me; it is my only HOPE. Your promise revives me, it comforts me in all my troubles.” – Psalm 119:49-50
I can honestly say this past month I have had to remind myself time and time again that God is a God who remembers; A God who sees me, knows me, and fully cares about every painful detail of my life. I’ve had to remind myself of His promises even when my heart didn’t want to believe. Worry. Fear. Pain. The Unknown. They all touched my heart ever too close. Nothing was working and I felt like God was always saying “no.” In a matter of a few days, so much in my life quickly changed. I had to be out of the place I was living and find somewhere else to live. I didn’t know where to go and a new place didn’t come quickly, so I had to trust. To press into the heart of Jesus in the midst of my chaotic life. The boxes didn’t bring comfort and the unknown scared me to death.I knew what my heart longed for but it wasn’t happening and the loneliness just settled in more, like a wave that was taking me under. Deeper I fell. The apartment search continued with no peace on where to go. I tried to write but words didn’t come. There were so many moments where I thought God had forgotten me. That He wasn’t remembering His promises to me in scripture and those He had ever spoke so close to my heart. But through it all I learned that in the unknown He is there, ever present and ever so close. He was there when I didn’t want to believe. When I wanted to give up. When nothing was working, He was there, carrying me. In my brokenness and pain sometimes I want to forget the world, to convince myself that I’m just not worth remembering. The uncomfortable moments want to lead me to a place of “my control” rather than to a place “on my knees.” But then the whisper of scripture that I read covers me and I speak, “God remembers me.” BUT “on my knees,” what freedom is found here. What HOPE is restored and what comfort I find in my pain and the longing of my ever troubled heart. It’s a daily process of trusting in what I cannot see but full of moments that one day will change and mark me forever.
If you are broken and pain is the song of your heart. If you are standing at the edge of the unknown where nothing seems to be working, one thing that restored hope to my heart is that God is the restorer of the broken pieces and in our darkest moments where tears cloud our view, He will reveal Himself to the world. “Don’t just cope with the pain but invite him into the pain” because from that pain the greatest story of your life will unfold if you can learn to calm the waves in your heart with His promises. You are not alone my friend. God has you and let the broken places be a conversation starter with your King!
Last month was full of so much change and not much REST. I went from living in a house with roommates to living by myself in my first apartment. If you know me at all, I love being around people and coming home with no one to talk to is a stretch for me. But I do know this is the place God has called me into even though I fought it for so long. It’s that place God wants to take us where it’s just you and Him. That place where your full attention is devoted to growing closer to His heart. It’s been sweet. As I walked into my apartment for the first time I prayed that it would be sanctuary where Jesus dwells. A place where writings are birthed and a place to know Him more. A place where it’s all about Him. I challenge you this month to find that place where it’s just you and Jesus. Dedicate it to Him and may He find you on your knees.
Im ready to start a brand new month and I’m going to make it count !!
– Read Unstoppable by Christine Caine.
– 1 day/week where I do nothing. I am daily learning this thing called REST.
– April Adoration – The past couple of months I have been doing this everyday in the small minutes of my life. Join me this month in writing a scripture on an index card each morning to remind ourselves to live each moment in full ADORATION of our KING.
– To KNOW Jesus more.
– To speak only words that uplift and not tear down. Words that strengthen and build-up. Words that are fully set in the promises of God. Our words shape our life. What we speak is what we walk in. This month I want to commit to controlling what comes out of my mouth and when I speak make sure it is in line with what God says.
– Start a brand new journal! I LOVE when I get to start a new journal !!
– Refrain from using the SNOOZE button. It’s so easy to set a time to get up in the morning and then to reach over and hit the snooze button only to realize 30 min of your morning is already gone. This is such a weakness of mine and I want to be more intentional about the time I have.
– Live my life by the example Jesus gave us in Mark 1:35. I’ll be the first to admit that while I love having my quiet time in the morning if I am not intentional about it, it doesn’t happen or it turns into a place of distractions. BUT the morning can be your greatest place of an intimate relationship with Jesus if you commit that time to knowing HIM more. It doesn’t have to be long but if you can steal away for a few minutes in the morning I promise it will change the entire way your day goes.
– Return all phone calls/text messages and emails within 24hrs. This is a great characteristic of a strong leader and something we should strive to do everyday.
– Fast 1x/week. Jesus says some things only come by prayer and fasting.
– Have friends over to my new apartment and cook a yummy meal. If you are reading this, your invited!!
– Take Chance to the lake and let him jump in. Goodness how he LOVES water!!
– Have a picnic. I LOVE picnics, probably one of my favorite things.
– Take a photography class.
– Be intentional in every conversation and every relationship.
– Attend the Gateway PINK Impact Conference. So excited!!
– Host an EB event for 10,000 Villages.
– Speak at two dinner parties for EB this month.
Well friends, from me and this massively huge, crazy-haired pup, here is to April!